[PRP]Searching for Herself

Lia hovered between waking and sleeping….memories flooding back interspersed with dreams. She tossed and turned fitfully, the light blanket becoming twisted around her body. Lia bolted upright….crying, perspiration matting her hair to her face, her heart racing as she tried to recall the dream……

~~about fifteen years ago~~

Lia laid in her bed awake….Papa had just tucked her in. Even though she was only five…Papa scared all the monsters away, and Lia felt comfortable in the dark. Lia didn’t want to go to sleep, Mama was real sick…and she was scared if she slept….Mama would go be with the angels and leave her behind. Lia knew that Mama would have to leave soon, Mama sat Lia down like a big girl and talked to her the other day.

Lia, you know Mama will have to go away soon?
But why Mama, don’t you love us anymore…..
Mama held her as tight as her failing arms could and stroked her hair.Mama loves you very much, Papa too; but Mama is sick, and is going to be with the angels up in Heaven.
But Papa stay? And take care of me? Lia asked, slightly confused, but understanding what Mama was saying.
Yea my love, Papa will stay here, and you and him will need to take care of each other. I need you to be a big girl Lia, Papa doesn’t want me to leave any more than I want to. But Jah has decided that he needs me more than the two of you do, Mama told her…a sad smile on her lips.
Lia threw her arms around her Mama, holding on and hugging her tightly. I understand Mama, I be a good girl and help Papa. When will we see you again….
Not for many years is my hope my child…..you have a long life ahead of you, love of your own….children….a family….Mama said her voice going soft. Mama is tired now baby….have Papa put you to bed…
Lia didn’t want to go, but Mama looked really tired. Ok Mama… she said, giving her Mama a kiss.I love you, she whispered.
Mama’s arms tightened a bit. I love you too baby.

Lia knew her Mama’s time was close, and wanted to sleep with her that night. To feel Mama’s arms around her. Lia crept down the small hallway, then was startled by the loud voices….Mama’s and Papa’s

Elizabeth….let me contact your family….they need to know your sick…. she heard Papa say.
No Charles….I cut off all ties to them when I married you. They wouldn’t understand….they would take our Lia away….the only one that would understand would be my brother….but I haven’t seen him since my niece was young…
Then I will try to find your brother….where can I find him....please love…you need your family…I can’t raise a young girl on my own…. she could hear her Papa plead.
I have no idea what happened. He was called away to court….then the family packed up and moved. I haven’t seen them in years….then the falling out when I married you….further widened the gap…
I will try to find him someday……I promise you that….

Lia crept back to her room, wanting to get away from them talking about Mama dying. She was curious though….there was more family….maybe Papa find them and they wouldn’t be alone…….

Mama died a few days later. Everyone was crying….Papa was very sad. He held Lia close and they comforted each other. People came and went….then only Papa and her were left.

~~back to present day~~

Lia remembered the memory like it was yesterday now…the pain of her mother leaving….and father had never looked for her uncle, not that she knew of. He raised her as best he could….just the two of them.

When I get to Exeter I will look more….maybe now I can find my past….and find out who I am….she whispered to herself.

As the first rays of light greeted the new day, Lia stirred in her camp. The dream still lingered on her mind….but she pushed those thoughts aside and began to get ready for the new day. Lia hadn’t seen anyone on her travels, thankful for the tranquility and solidarity. Lia had spied a bank through the grove of tress, and went down to bank to wash up.

Washing the dust from her face, and slicking her hair back from her face she looked into the surface of the water. Her own eyes looked at her. Lia looked into her own eyes, wondering what other people saw when they looked at her. She wasn’t sure she recognized what she saw. Lia was beginning to learn a little bit more about herself…but she wasn’t quite there yet. The dream had stirred some more thoughts, and until Lia found what she was searching for…she felt as if she wasn’t complete.

Disrupting the image by splashing water on her face, Lia stood up and greeted the new day. She went to where her horse was tied up and saddled the mare. Breaking down her camp, she covered the fire to make sure that it was completely out, and packed up her things. Tying the pack to her horse, she mounted up and set up at a casual pace.

Going along the sea road, Lia enjoyed the life around her. The birds singing, the wildlife in nature, even the simple flowers that graced her path. She came upon the town of Dorchester, and thought about stopping. Knowing that Exeter wasn’t too far off, she continued on…going around the city rather than through it….crossing the border into Sommerset. It had been months since she crossed this border last….on her journey away from Exeter and Cornwall, with her new husband and her family.

So much had happened…Lia thought to herself. So many things had happened….so many things had changed. I wonder how Exeter has fared since I left…..if my old friends are still there…. Lia shook her head and cleared her mind. She knew daydreaming was dangerous on the road…she couldn’t afford to let her guard down. Even a promise of safe travels from a couple friends…she just couldn’t be too careful.

She set up camp again, just outside of Chard, her travels done for the day. Banking a fire for warmth and comfort, she sat by the fire wrapped in a blanket. Tomorrow I will be back in Exeter! Lia thought to herself. The dream still haunted the young woman…intent on finding out what she could. Lia knew she would have to look into it further. If there is family out there....maybe they have the answers I seek…..

Lia sighed deeply….missing her family…..missing Rougue….but knowing she was on the right path. She entered her tent…and cuddled up on her self. Closing her eyes….this night was filled of promise…and dreams of the future, instead of haunting dreams of the past…..

Lia woke up the next morning refreshed…and ready to finish the last leg of her journey to Exeter. Breaking down camp, she got everything around and headed off. She bypassed Chard, she was dusty, tired, and ready to make it to her destination.

Reigning in at the livery in Exeter, she tosses a few coins to the stable hand, requesting a full groom for her mayor. She walked through the town…amazed by how much had changed. So many new faces, so many old friends….she was glad she came to visit. Taking a room at the Inn, she called for a bath. She watched as the workers brought a washtub and filled it with steaming water. Once the men had left, she barred the door. Lia slipped out of her dust filled garments and stepped in the tub, submersing herself underneath. Coming back up she sighed as the hot water soothed her tired muscles. Grabbing the soap she lathered her hair and body, then laid back and closed her eyes to soak. When the water started to cool, she rinsed off and stepped from the tub. Brushing her hair till it gleamed, she donned a pale blue day dress and headed out.

Lia had wandered around town for awhile...looking at the sights and sounds. Everything she once knew was gone....so many things had changed. During her journey to Exeter....memories were flooding back. There was a box....a box that she had hidden long ago in the barracks...when she was part of the CRG. Going by the barracks, it didn't seem that anyone had been there for quite sometime. Hopefully the box was still there.

Standing tall, careful not to be on guard, but to let her sword hand rest freely at her side, and not on the hilt of her sword....she pushed the door open slowly. Familiar sights greeted her....where she and the boys used to sit and bicker. There didn't seem to be anyone around, so she went to the side of the chimney, and removed a couple of the bricks there.

Joy crossed her face....the box was still there. Maybe in there was the key to who she was....a clue in the papers in the box....tucking the box under her arm....she put the bricks back to rights and slowly headed to the exit.....

Shaundra wrote:Shaundra was walking toward the tavern just to see who was around when a familiar figure was seen out of the corner of her eye. Stopping and turning to do a double take, Shaundra is thrilled to see her friend Lia in town. As she is about to call to her, Lia stops and goes into the Barracks of the CRG.

Curious as to what she would be doing there, Shaundra creeps up and looks around the door. Startled to see the hiding place Lia has uncovered, she waits a bit more to give her friend the privacy she obviously craved for this moment.

As Lia gets up and walks to the door Shaundra walks around the door and says "Lia! What a suprise. I just saw the door open and was coming to check on why. I am headed to The Apple Blossom to see who around the town while I am here dropping off wood." Grabbing Lia on the arm she leads her out of the barracks gently.

Lia startled a bit when she seen a figure in the doorway. Her free hand went to the hilt of her sword...not knowing what danger was ahead. Taking a look at the figure, she visibly relaxed and broke into a grin.

Shaundra! Tis good to see you my friend!Lia cried, rushing to greet her friend...embarrassed that she was caught in the barracks.

Seeing the anxious look on Shaundra's face, she allowed herself to be led out of the barracks, and onto the street. I know I was trespassing, but I had to retrieve something I left behind when I left, Lia explained holding up the box. Hearing mention of a tavern, Lia grinned.

Lead the way my friend....we have much to catch up on....

Going to the tavern with Shaundra….Lia explained what was going on…and revealed what the box was for.

This box has papers and such from my father’s estate. I have never looked through it, but hope there is a clue to who my family is. My mother never talked about family, but I remember bits and pieces from my childhood. I’m hoping that the information I seek is in this box, Lia explained.

Smiling at her friend she said, Let’s have a drink and catch up. I’ve missed you greatly, and am moving on to Plymouth tonight! Calling for a round of drinks, Lia spent the afternoon talking and laughing with Shaundra….catching up on news, reliving the past….and decided to not discuss the future.

Blades was just rowing his boat into the shore, a little tired and smelly from a day of fishing when he noticed something different, there was a figure sitting on the beach. As he beaches his boat and anchors it, he starts to head to Fowey, but something pulls him back. Looking at the profile of the woman, something strikes him, he has seen her before. As he slowly and quietly approaches her, he gets close enough to see that it is Lia, he met from up in Exeter.

Lia?

He asked not completely sure if he was right and even if she would remember him, it had been a while.

Blades takes the letter from Lia and looks hard at the seal, it did look familiar. Blades, stands up, and paces back and forth; racking his brain, trying to figure out where he has seen that seal before. He closed his eyes and can see the the coat of arms, up on the wall, as he mentally looks around and as his mental image starts to come together. He sees a staircase, a mantel. Suddenly his eyes open wide and he reaches down grabs her by the hand and takes her to a manor set back into the woods. Leading her up the path he smiles. He knows that this will be a welcomed reunion, With a quick knock on the door, he entered ushering both of them into the main room, and there was the coat of arms, mounted on the wall above the fireplace.

"Stay here a moment. Let me fetch the lady of the house."
Blades quickly leaves and then returns with a woman in tow. Looking at the two women Blades clears his throat.

"Lady Lia... I would like to introduce you to a family member of yours... Lady Jennet." Blades turns to address Jennet,

"Lady Jennet, I present to you a lost family member, Lady Lia." After the introduction Blades hands the letter with the seal to Jennet and steps back, allowing the two ladies to talk

“Elizabeth…Lianna….lost family?” Jennet shook her head and accepted the letter with the seal, the look of confusion evident. “Blades, what in blue blazes are you blathering about? And did you let yourselves in? Good heavens….Amelia! Amelia! Now where has that girl gotten off to? I swear, one of these days I am going to turn her out on the street. No wonder mother and father saddled me with her keeping.”

Saying that last, Jennet glanced around the stairs hoping for a sign of her errant serving girl, to no avail, and, then started, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment. “Just look at me, why don’t you, forgetting common hospitality!” She cast a glance at the young lady before her. The hair was totally different, blonde to Jennet’s chestnut brown tresses, but there was something about the line of her face, the sweep of her forehead that reminded her of her own reflection…and the eyes, not Jennet’s emerald green sprinkled with flecks of sparkling gold like her Welsh mother’s, but crystal blue. Those eyes she had seen before. The realization set her into motion and she gestured to the sitting area near the fireplace, offering a gracious smile to the young woman who was so clearly looking at her shyly. “My lady, welcome to Hawthorne Manor. Please, won’t you join me for some tea? I’ve only just put some chamomile on for the afternoon. “

The fire in the over-sized fireplace was roaring, knocking off the chill that had invaded the remote fishing town so early this year. The entire room was paneled in deep rich wood, rugs of inestimable worth covering vast swathes of the floor bearing the crest of the de Holland family—per saltire, argent and gules, a hawthorne tree in bloom. Tapestries in brilliant colors of woven wool flanked the fireplace and the high windows, displaying various scenes, some from the Bible, others, slightly more worldly, from the romances of Chretien de Troyes, a particular favorite of her mother’s. Jennet allowed the young woman to walk before her and bade her sit in one of the high-backed chairs, cushions in each embroidered with winding green branches and tiny silver-white flowers, the same branches and flowers found in the rugs and in the tapestries and in the curtains, drawing the whole into some semblance of order. Jennet herself held back a pace and addressed Blades as they walked. Her face never lost the friendly smile she had displayed with the young woman, but her voice held a touch of reproach. “My friend, remind me to not commit the same mistake twice, and to keep the keys to Bryn Madn to myself…” It was a moment before she glanced at him and winked, grinning. “Keep the lady company. I will be back shortly.”

Jennet bustled off to the kitchens which she found to be empty. Still no sign of Amelia. She made a mental note to have a talk with that girl. If the stablemen of Holywell were less attractive than those of Fowey, perhaps the girl would attend more to her duties. She found the tea ready and added two more delicate and rare imported porcelain cups to the tray on the sideboard, along with the fresh honey in a tiny stoneware dish. She glanced at the seal on the letter before placing it also on the tray. Possibly a forgery, but for what purpose? Carrying the tray out to the sitting room and setting it gently on the low, carved wooden table before the chairs, she poured three cups full before offering the cups and linen damask napkins to her guests. She drew a napkin over her own lap, added a small touch of honey to her cup and stirred with a tiny silver spoon before settling back into the chair nearest the fire.

A sip and a genial smile touched her lips before she spoke, “Now, my lady, Blades, would someone please explain to me what this is all about?”

Jennet sipped the steaming tea and listened intently to the young woman’s story, pausing to set her cup aside and pat Lia’s lap affectionately as the young woman dabbed at her eyes, a reassuring smile touching her face. Her mother dead so young, and her father taken too soon, set adrift and left with family friends, it was almost unbelievable that a single young life could be filled with so much tragedy. And to now be without her husband, well, the woman truly had no one left. No wonder she had come to Fowey looking for answers. Whether she was kin or not, Jennet’s heart cracked with anguish for the lady before her. She was a brave one to march in and boldly seek the truth of the matter, and, for that, Jennet admired her.

The letter on the tray drew her eye, and she opened it carefully, examining the seal and the ribbons, the writing, the parchment itself for signs of age or tampering. It was a very old letter for certain, but it was what was inside that caused her to sit back, a faint look of surprise registering on her face. Elizabeth… her aunt Elizabeth… She searched the young woman’s face again as she rolled the name around in her mind. She had been barely out of the cradle herself the last time she had seen her father’s sister, before they left Wales for the south. She accepted the other letters that Lia offered and read them each in turn, the sounds of the room fading away except for the crackling of the logs on the fire and the creak of the chair as she opened a letter, read it, placed it on the table, opened another… The story began to take shape in her mind. Jennet had faced the wrath of the de Holland’s herself for her willful refusal to be anything but what she was. She had battled her own parents for the right to marry the man she loved, and not for title or land. Hell’s bells, the estate she had inherited had more money than three families should need. Wealth was of no consequence, and titles but empty pieces of paper. What mattered were the people behind the coin and the coronet. Jennet had always assumed she faced the fight alone, but here before her was a woman who had been turned out of a loving home, denied the comforts of family, all because her mother had chosen as Jennet now chose. Coming out of her thoughtfulness, her heart racing in barely concealed anger, she looked down and saw that her delicate hand had clenched into a fist where she gripped the letter, crumpling the edge of the aged parchment. Willing herself to relax, she smoothed the page and placed it with the others. A deep breath calmed her before she addressed Lia.

“My lady, if the story you tell me is true, and I have no reason to doubt you, then you are my blood and a cousin, and a grave injustice has been done you. If there is more to this tale than these letters tell, there is one man nearby who can pour some light on the subject--my father, and, by the look of your eyes and hair, your uncle. My parents have retired to the country, some distance away. “ Jennet cast a wary glance out the tall windows at the rapidly setting October sun, “If I am to make it before nightfall, I must leave soon. I would hear what my father has to say at once.” She rose and took Lia’s hand in hers gently her voice dropping into a sympathetic near-whisper, “If you will accept the hospitality of this house, please allow me to offer you rooms and a hot meal while you are staying in Fowey. It is the very least that I can give you.”

At that moment, the missing serving girl, Amelia, appeared, apron askew, hair a disheveled remnant of the neat bun it had once obviously been done in, cheeks flushed red, hurrying quickly and dropping a deeper curtsy than normal to her less than pleased mistress. Jennet’s tone was sharp, “Amelia, our guest is the Lady Lia. If she accepts my invitation, she will be staying with us. Tell the kitchens to bring her whatever she would like for her supper, and have the guest room nearest mine prepared for her. Fresh water in the basin this time, please. You are to attend to her every need without delay. Treat her as you would treat me.” Jennet spun on her heel to walk away and heard Amelia mutter a simple, “yes, Mistress, “ before she thought better of it and turned back to the girl, stating, “On second thought, treat her better than you treat me.” The defiant girl smiled at her mistress’ raised eyebrow, and the two of them shared a knowing look before Amelia scampered off to alert the house.

“Blades, my friend, if you would be so kind, I do not think I am off the mark to say that Lia would appreciate having a friendly face around should she decide to stay. If you would keep her company tonight, I would be grateful. The room at the end of the hall…you remember the one…it is ready as always if you would like to have it. Lia, I do so hope you will stay with us, for my sake if nothing else.”

Jennet smiled again at the young woman before excusing herself and hustling off to the stables, pausing only briefly to strap her sword and dagger to her waist. Wearing weapons in her mother’s presence always caused a fit of hysterics, and Jennet could well stand for a laugh after the somber news she had received. Not completely sure why, she also reached for a small pouch of coins and tied it to her girdle, the jingling of gold giving an almost musical sound as she walked. She found the stableman already saddling her horse and her questioning glance was met with a guttural, “Amelia, ma’am.” Jennet nodded, took the reins, and swung into the saddle. The objections about her riding into the lengthening afternoon shadows without escort were met with the sound of horse’s hooves as she galloped away, racing against the setting of the sun.

Blades had kept quiet, enjoying the tea as te tow ladies talked. It was hard for him to believe that Lady Jennet might have a long lost cousin that had traveled here to Fowey. He was finally addressed by Lady Jennet and after hearing the question quickly stood to his feet. He looked a Lia and smiled and then back to Lady Jennet.

Thank you my Lady. I will take you up on your offer and stay here.

Blades turns and looks at Lia... Would you like to see you room, my lady?
Extends his arms towards her awaiting her responce.